change of season, change of heart (posted last May 11, 2006)

today the country is under tropical depression. yes this is the mark of change of season. now summer is officially over.

but as days passes by, the mode of life change. you were no long the person that i knew before. you look different and sound diffirent too. you've become a stranger every day and we both did'nt know. and now i just realized that even we are near to each other but still miles apart. i guess your the living prof that things in this world will change.

i just hope that you can talk to me. face me and look at me in the eye. tell me what you feel inside. i'm just here waiting for you even it will take me forever.

yo-yo for a day

i bought a yo-yo yesterday. i have no idea why but i just did. weird ah? yeah sometime i just do some weird staffs… hehehehe but come to think of it i was just like throwing money. if nanay find out about this then i am in trouble.

i felt bad about buying useless things. i mean come to think of it, many people in the world are starving to death and i'm here buying useless things. nanay teach me not to wast money, that we should live in a simple way. i can always remember her lines "simpleng pamumuhay, puspusang pakikibaka" (simple way of life, thorough strugle).

lubas pics

pic sa lubas.... from the left holding a scissor wearing black shirt me, wearing red shirt inday rechelle, then on pink stripe ate kaira, on white is mama roxane, then on red is ROWENA CARRANZA-PARAAN Director, National Union of Journalists of the PhilippinesAssociate Editor, Philippine Graphic magazine, Managing Editor, Bulatlat.com, nanay pypai on blue, and last tiya karen on darker red.

wish it will all be gone

i wish it will all be gone by morning. the same pain i have to live up every day. dark clouds that formed over our heads for the past week and five days. it is one of the most darkest days of our lives. emotionally it leaves my body powerless and eventually turns to death. inside my head, it tells me that i should be strong for little Ghe-ghe. but some times when i'm alone i feel the pain, the great pain and it scares me that may not have the strength to battle this problems. yes i am weak, i'm not like nanay or tiya… i'm just Ian the mouse, the scared one.

Still the same

Its been a week and four days when they broke up. My heart still in grief, and pain seems to stay forever. Its just like a bad dream and I just wish that I will be awaken from all of this. I love them both and don't want to choose from either of them. My love for them is equal. In the darkness I cry, when I'm alone I feel the great pain of loosing two people you love and you will love forever. In the morning I just wish that this is over that things will come back to normal, that they will be back in each others arms. nanay said to me that the door for reconciliation is not yet close, that there is still hope for the two of them. Hope I am brave enough to tell them how I feel and it hurt us all specially if ghe-ghe will find out about it. I know she too will take it the hard way. I don't want to tell her I don't want her to get hurt, I hope that she didn't find out the news. I love her too, and I don't want her to feel the pain that I am feeling. Its hard and I don't think she will be able to take it.

empi

in this world where capitalism is god, where poor people suffers til death. you still say to me that i should keep my head down and pretend that there is peace. well i did, i did bow to them... to the gods. i even worship them just to survive... to keep my self alive. i offer them gold and all my possession, i even became their slave. but the sad part is, in the end of the day i lay on the ground lifeless.

summer

darkness is almost over and the sun will appear soon. i will be welcoming the sunrise in summers. its been 31 days and 30 nights since you left and the last time i have heard your voice.

i miss you!

i just hope that i can say it to you, but the sad things is i can't. here i am standing in the dark again, hiding from the light. the sadness that i have keept from the people. yes i did feel the pain, and again it's swallowing me and killing me slowly. and in silnce i will cry.

yes i still remember you every time the sun appears in the horizon. yes i still remember you as i open my eyes to the wonders of the world. and yes i remember you every time i'm alone and one to talk to. like; when i ride a jeepney to where ever i go. or like of example when i pour cold water each i time i take a bath. i see you! and in moments like this while i'm writing this, i still think ok you.

and soon the sun will appear again in the horizon, i will think of you. until on it's setting. until the moment i close my eyes, i will be thinking of you.

no change

media men are under surviellance, since the lifting of the proclamation 1017 non has change but even worsen. the national telecommunication commission issued new set of guidelines.

These circulars state that "all radio broadcasting and television stations shall, during any broadcast or telecast, cut off from the air the speech, play, act or scene or other matter being broadcast and/or telecast, if the tendency thereof is to propose and/or incite treason, rebellion or treason, or language used therein or the theme thereof is indecent or immoral."

from pcij.org/blog

can this be what? i can't define

before day ends you texted me. me... i didn't expect that. of all people you are the one.

i still remember the day that we have parted, you still give that wonderful smile like the ones you gave when you were introduce to me. you and your friend were shy. may be because you aren't that good in our language or may be you were just shy. you were very cute when you stare at me, as if you were looking at me right down to my very soul. i could say that their something magical in you and i just couldn't figure it out.

at that time, my mind was clouded with pain of the break up of my recent relationship. the very pain that stops me to be close to you. to go near you is like hell, it seems my heart was ripped off. may be i was scared that people might think that i am just using you to get over someone.

i don't want to hurt you, you deserve something special for you are special. like morning in summers, when you wake up and see the sun appear in the horizon that brings gladness in everyone's heart. and you can't notice that every time you see that wonderful sight you just can't help but smile.

then at the moment, when your fingers caressing but perfectly those stings of guitar, those strings though angels sings in the accompaniment of that old but not that old guitar.

but 3 days were short for the two of us. and the time has come us to go and continue our tasks. i was the first one to leave, you and your friend tried to stop me from walking away. but it was too late, for i must leave. like Cinderella in that fairy tell story, that when the clock strikes 12 mid night it means its time to go back. with a heavy heart i took my first step to the door and walk away. i didn't gave you my number when you ask me to (that night when you sing a waray to us together with your friend), i said to myself, its better to forget about you and forget this night. the night that my heart aches healed as you pluck those melodies right through my heart. that stitches the broken pieces of my heart.

a month later an unknow number appear in my cellphone with a message saying hi. and that was the day that i could not stop myself again from drifting closer to you.

four months later after that sad parting time. i'm still here mumbling to myself. why can't i forget about you. i stopped texting you, why your picture appear in my mind. what is this, i can't define. and every time you text me even just to say hi, my heart jumps in and out of my chest. but inside my head, its like my brains is tumbling around, tumbling around, round and round and round until you get dizzy and drop like hell on the ground. its like your brain stormed your heart with questions. but your heart can't answer you logical brain for heart can only feel the happiness and pain.

FFM

Barangay Mahayag
Luntian Maharlika Amihan

Maraming punong kahoy, sariwa ang hangin, at higit sa lahat tahimik. “Ngunit ang magandang kapaligiran at ang nakakabinging katahimikan ay may nakabadyang panganib.”

Marso 13, 2005, lingo, pasado ala-una ng hapon, binasag ang katahimikan ng malalakas na ulan ng mga bala sa pagitan ng Arm Forces of the Philippines at New Peoples Army sa isang maliit na barrio. Isa ang patay sa hanay ang mga AFP, habang walang natamaan sa pagitan ng mga NPA.

Nanghuli ang mga milirary ng mga pinaghihinalaang NPA, pito ka katao, tatlo nito ay mga menor de edad.

Mga Biktima

“Sa dikalayuan sa pinangyarihan ng putukan, kunsaan ang ating paglalakbay ay magsisimula, sa bahay ni Leah.”

Mga ala-una ng hapon, madaling lumabas ng bahay sina aling Leah at ang kanyang pamilya, pumunta sa bahay ng kapatid na si aling Alberta ng makarinig sila ng malakas na putokan malapit sa bahay nila. Patuloy parin ang putukan kahit nakarating na sila sa bahay ng kanyang kapatid.

Bandang alas-tres ng hapon ay luminaw na ang paligid, wala ng putukan, kaya naisipan ni leah na bumalik sa bahay nila para kumuha ng pagkain dahil hindi pa sila nagtatanghalian.

Sinamahan siya ng kanyang kapatid na si aling Alberta at ng kanyang tiya na si aling Juana. Pagdating nila sa bahay ay bumulantang kaagad sakanila ang mga nagkala na gamit sa bahay nila. Ang pitaka ni alingLeah ay natagpuan na niya malapit sa pintuan ng bahay. Habang ang kanilang mga damit ay nagkalat na kung saan-saan.

Kaya madali silang lumabas ng bahay, ngunit naabutan sila ng mga military. Tinawag sila ng isang army. Pinalapit sila sa mga ito. Kaya naman ay madali silang lumapit sa mga army. Ngunit nangyari ang hindi nila inaasahan. Paglapit agad nila sa mga ito ay kabikabilang sampal at sapak ang inabot nila. Sa makatuwid ay binugbog sila ng mga ito.

Tinanong din sila kun mga NPA bad aw sila, bakit daw hindi sila nagsusumbong na may tunnel na ginawa ang mga NPA. At bakit daw hindi sila sinabihan na may kampo ang mga NPA malapit sa bahay nila. Tinwag silang mga supporters ng NPA.

Ngunit nagpaliwanag sila aling Leah, kahit malapit lang daw ang bahay nila sa may Tunnel ay hindi nila alam na may Tunnel doon, dahil hindi naman daw sila sumuopunta doon dahil masukal na lugar doon. At saka hindi naman nila lupa iyon, bakit naman daw sila pupunta doon. Sakasamaang palad ay hindi nakinig ang mga military sa kanilang paliwanag.

Mayamay ay dumating ang chairman sa organisasyon nila sa MAFA (Mahayag Farmers Association) na si Maria Luna. Pumunta siya sa lugan malapit sa putukan para makibalita sa nangyari. Ngunit dirin niya inaasahan ang sumunod na mga pang yayari. Nakita rin siya ng mga military at nakatikim din siya ng mga pasakit sa kamay ng mga ito. Tinanong din siya kung NPA ba siya.

Maya-may ay dumating si mang Pepe kasama si Nelson 12 taong gulang, kukunin sana nila ang kalabaw na iniwan sa may Sitio Olotan. Pero nang dumaan sila malapit sa bahay ni Leah ay tinawag sila ng Army. At tulad ng iba din rin nakaligtas si mang Pepe ang naranasan nila aling Leah sa mga kamay ng military. Tinanong din sila mang Pepe at nelson kung mga NPA ba daw sila

Kasama nila aling Leah, aling Alberta at aling JuanaJuana ay inipon sila sa isang lugar. Pagkatapos ay biglang nagpaputok ang armalite ang isang army, inubaos pa ang isang magasin ng bala. One inch lang ang layo sa paa nila at tiyak na mahahagip na ito ng bala.

Pagkatapos dumating sina Josefa 16 taong gulang at Crispin 8 taong gulang, malapit sa bahay nila Leah, dahil inutosan sila ng nanay nilang kumuha ng gulay sa may Sitio Olotan. Tulad din ng iba ay nakita sila ng mga military at pinalapit sa kanila. Tinanong sila kung mga NPA ba sila, tumanggi ang mga bata. Tinawag ng mga military ng Kumander Lina si Josefa, dahil siya membro ng isang organisasyon ng mga kabataan (anak bayan). Pero tumanggi ang dalaga na siya ay si Kumander Lina.

Isinakay sila sa luob ng canter, kasama nila ang patay na katawan ng isang army. Tinakot sila na hanggang ala-sais na lang sila ng gabi at itatabi na sila sa kasa mahan nilang army na namatay. Nataakot silang lahat, lalo na ang mga bata.

Nagrequest sila na dumaan muna sila sa bahay ng barrio captain, para masabihan siya ns hinuli sila ng mga military. Ngunit wala sa bahay ang brrio captain kay idiniretsop na sila sa Police Precent I para imbistigahan, hindi raw sila magtatagal at pakakawalan sin dila, sabi ng isang military.

Pagdating nila doon ay i-ninterview sila ng mga taga media. Ngunit taliwas sa sinabi ng isang military na pakakawalan agad sila ay I-nidetained sila, apat (4) na araw ang mga bata sa loob ng kukungan habang limang (5) buwan at dalawang (2) araw naman ang mga matatanda. Kinasuhab sila ng illegal possession of explosives at murder.

Sa ngayon ay na dismiss na ang kaso, pero pangsamantala parin ang kalayan ng mga bata.



Marami pang kagaya nila Leah, Juana, Alberta, Pepe, Nelson, Josefa, at Crispi. Ang iba ay mas kalunos-lunos pa ang kanila naranasan sa mga kamay ng isang pasistang gobyerno Ang militarisasyon sa kabundukan ang siyang nagpapahirap sa mga kababayan natin, na siyang gumubuo sa 75% ng ating populasyon, ang mga magsasaka.


IBAGSAK ANG MILITARISASYON SA KABUNDUKAN!
IBAGSAK ANG PASISTANG GOBYERNO!
IBAGSAK ANG REHEMING US-MACAPAGAL ARROYO!

IPAGLABAN ANG MASANG API
MAKILAHOK AT LUMABAN IPAGTANGGOL INANG BAYAN!

Note: Ang mga pangalan ng mga biktima ay sadyang pinalitan para na rin sa kanilang siguridad.



Sources: FFM conducted by KARAPATAN Central Visayas and Katungod

media advisory

The Arroyo Resign Movement of the Youth with the League of Filipino
Student from San Francisco, USA chapter will be having a Solidarity
Night this saturday, July 30, 2005, 6pm at CENDET auditorium. this
willl be attended by different organizations and convenors of the
said alliance.

This will also give way to the media to ask wuestions regarding the
Alliance LFS USA's stand about the current political crisis and the
recent campus repression experience by an ARM d' Youth coordinator
in UV.

Your presence will be of much help to air opinions and grievances.

Thank You

For reference:

Jaydar Medrozo
SPOKESPERSON
ARM d' Youth
09278301014

dis s it

Reminding all chruvas and kumikembot pipz, bukas national day of protest (magstre-street party nanaman tayo). Hope to see you there (di natalaga ako aabsent bukas, honest talaga!). Salahat ng member sa family dito sa Ubec (Cebu) 1 pm po tayo, assembly area guisano metro, tapos mamarcha tayo patungong Malacañang of the south. Magready na lang kayo, may nasagap kasi akong chika na may fire truck na naka parked doon (please bring extra shirts bukas and antipyretic na gamot). K?!!! kitakits nalang mga kapatid…..Ü

sounds famili.... "martial law?"

By Jasper Almirante/ Bulatlat

Peaceful assembly and free expression are basic civil rights, enshrined no less in the Philippine Constitution. But amid public discontent over oil price hikes and other issues, the authorities have found a convenient pretext for suppressing the exercise of these rights: the Marcos-vintage no-permit-no-rally policy. The use of a no-permit-no-rally policy to crush almost every act of legitimate dissent, amid a multitude of reasons for taking to the streets, can only drive the people to vent their anger even more. So where’s now the so-called “maximum tolerance” policy?

sad jud

bwesit jud na admin.... wish ko lang ma dedo nana cla para mabawasan ang mga evil sa mondong ibabaw... sana kunin na cla ni satanas... yong god nila ba... yong my maraming sungay....

editing moments

ang time na nawarla ang pipol.... nagbaha ng dugo... pinatianay jud ang show... ang editing moments ng mga quiilers "manunutat na maisug kamot sa pakig bisog."



ANO ITO??? grace paki explain sa'kin.... UNSA NI????!!! labad na ako ulo, bili cguro ako advil sa tin dahan... kamo sa bahala sa articles... tarunga na ha!!!! bantay lang ig balik na ko wala pa na natarong...



ate marian saon tani mga matay nata... patyon na ta ni tiya karen.... naglabad na ra ba iya ulo... saon! edward stop reading tsabangi kono mi!!! UNSAON TA NI???



nanay pypai "Gah!!! tanawa inah nitago hadlok ni jube, hehehehe!"
tatay eden "Gah!! ayaw pagsamok diha, i'm reading checai's article about fiscal crisis. naglabad na pud akon na ulo, unsa man iya gi mean di ko ma gets!!!
nanay pypai " hilum sa kuno.... unsa ni? ano ba itetch!!!! diko rin magets. jube ok ra ka tid mo red na ang oren ni mo gisulob!"



inah'y "ayaw'g saba ni tago ko.... morag nasuko na si jube..."



checai "unsaon ma ni uy!!! naglabad akong ulo sa akong gi sulat...."



dadi jube "unsaon man ta ni??? libog kaayo.... naglagot na ko!!!!!"

lunch tym.... si grace kumakain ng magisa.... guys lubayan nyo mo na yan.... kain mu na ta yo pls... di na ako makatiis.....and sarap kasi ng adobo ni inah'y.... hehehehe!!!!

kapoy

kapoy diay ang yfc.... karon lang ko naka objectify... for how many year na nako sa service, for almost 6 year nako sa org na yon.... this is the firt tym na gikapoy jud ko.... parang gusto mo ng umiyak... when you need somebody or anybody para mo tabang sa imo... walang who ever na pwedeng maghelp sayo.... i'm still hoping na one day.... isang araw na mamakikita nila na this org needs teamwork... kaya nga org di ba? that di to kaya ng isang tao lang... we need everybody to participate in all it's incomming activities....

oh no!!!!

classes nanaman... sad nako kay no more freedom... back to school and sa among balay....

hapi but sad...

new year na sab.... hapi ko but sad, i can't even eat something na like ko... not bec. i'm sick or something i'm just guilty coz of those pepol who are ...well couldn’t afford to buy the things that I have this very moment… thinking that each time you are enjoying menudo, kari-kari, roasted pork, etc. maraming tao dyan ang hind pa nakakain… sad talaga ako para sa ka nila. OA but it’s really what I feel eh!!! This is my first hapi but sad Christmas and new year for me……..

hi!!!!

Transport strike tomorrow!!!! saon malayo pa bahay namin sa school as in like 45 Km noh as in like 1hr. ride noh! anong gagawin ko? may sasakyan pa kaya bukas?may class kaya kami bukas? ah basta naguguluhan na ako.... siguro magjoin na lang ako sa strike.... hehehehe

alone

got know to turn to... sad days again feeling lost??? not really.... i want to rest, but can't do it... i have to do something emportant in school...may be this is the life i choose for myself, but why is it i no longer happy living in this soreal world??? why is it i feel a great void inside me??? questions ha!!!! i got many question inside my head... can anyone answer this question??? please..............