Tuesday, February 14, 2006

can this be what? i can't define

before day ends you texted me. me... i didn't expect that. of all people you are the one.

i still remember the day that we have parted, you still give that wonderful smile like the ones you gave when you were introduce to me. you and your friend were shy. may be because you aren't that good in our language or may be you were just shy. you were very cute when you stare at me, as if you were looking at me right down to my very soul. i could say that their something magical in you and i just couldn't figure it out.

at that time, my mind was clouded with pain of the break up of my recent relationship. the very pain that stops me to be close to you. to go near you is like hell, it seems my heart was ripped off. may be i was scared that people might think that i am just using you to get over someone.

i don't want to hurt you, you deserve something special for you are special. like morning in summers, when you wake up and see the sun appear in the horizon that brings gladness in everyone's heart. and you can't notice that every time you see that wonderful sight you just can't help but smile.

then at the moment, when your fingers caressing but perfectly those stings of guitar, those strings though angels sings in the accompaniment of that old but not that old guitar.

but 3 days were short for the two of us. and the time has come us to go and continue our tasks. i was the first one to leave, you and your friend tried to stop me from walking away. but it was too late, for i must leave. like Cinderella in that fairy tell story, that when the clock strikes 12 mid night it means its time to go back. with a heavy heart i took my first step to the door and walk away. i didn't gave you my number when you ask me to (that night when you sing a waray to us together with your friend), i said to myself, its better to forget about you and forget this night. the night that my heart aches healed as you pluck those melodies right through my heart. that stitches the broken pieces of my heart.

a month later an unknow number appear in my cellphone with a message saying hi. and that was the day that i could not stop myself again from drifting closer to you.

four months later after that sad parting time. i'm still here mumbling to myself. why can't i forget about you. i stopped texting you, why your picture appear in my mind. what is this, i can't define. and every time you text me even just to say hi, my heart jumps in and out of my chest. but inside my head, its like my brains is tumbling around, tumbling around, round and round and round until you get dizzy and drop like hell on the ground. its like your brain stormed your heart with questions. but your heart can't answer you logical brain for heart can only feel the happiness and pain.