traveler's eyes

There are moments of those pauses that we stop. We look around and peek into that moment. We find those moments of pure revelation, an epiphany of something we never really expect. That moment of pure wonder and magic.

We find ourselves following those roads that lead to nowhere but to a surprise. And there we find the true meaning of humanity. What humanity truly stand for and in the midst of that they will surprise you. Humans are indeed a very intriguing species.

As you walk to unknown places, as you may have explore the world around you, you will meet these interesting people that forever may change the way you will look at the world. Forever leaves you in that baffled of unexpected gesture that you may in a thousand years will never expect.

I have always been in the receiving end of these unexpected gestures of humanity in its purest form. From the offering of free rides to food from strangers. It’s really outstanding to look back that of all the travels I had, I have seen the goodness the world has to offer. I have seen the beauty of humanity that I seldom have seen or was seems too elusive at first glance.

There are few times that I have given up on people. I have lost hope for humanity but there are these people that have change my perspective and believe in the generosity that humans are capable.  Humans are capable of loving and caring. They are capable of giving you a hand. They are someone that could be a long lost sister, brother, mother, father, grandfather or grandmother, and most of all you will feel the love with each gesture.

Those people have forever change the way I look at the world and people. They forever change my perspective of life and how I should approach it. The best times and things in my travels is the part where I get lost and discover something beautiful in the paths that I have taken.

Only a fellow traveler will or may agree with me but for you to experience what I have, you must travel a road-less-traveled. Don’t follow a map, don’t be afraid that you are lost. Enjoy every moment of being free from the responsibilities that the world always choke us. Throw that caution in the wind, don’t think but feel the energy around you. You will be amazed how wonderful the world is. And watch as these experiences will change you forever.

Happy travels everyone!

children

Being a mother to a child is one of the greatest pleasures that i have feel in my life. The moment that they call you mom, mama, mamai or mommy is the most sureal feeling in the universe. There are times that i just can’t help but be proud of each of them. The each milestone they have and make. I am very honoured to be part of that and somehow still part of it.

I try my best to tell them that i love them. I know i am not perfect but everytime i see them succeed in life that is enough for me. I hope to continue cheering for them from where i stand. I do wish to be at their side when they achieve things.

One of the traits that my children have is that all three of them are strong willed, confident, and very independent there are times that i wish that they would ask help from me but nope they are just fine by themselves.

My eldest daughter is a writer. She did publish things online and people love (including me) the things that she wrote. And like most teenager they don’t like to talk about certain things that is happening in their lives. They don’t like to ask help from the adults and she hates that i call her a child because she is all grown up now. I don’t like it that she is all by herself.

I hate it that she is left alone on her own. There are times that i wish i just can cross borders for her in just seconds but there are things that i can’t do and i must remember where i stand. I love her, nothing will change that. Even if the world will burned she is my child the universe gave her to me and i will not letting go no matter what.

I love you dear. Your mommy will always love you and i know that you hate me now but i am still here for you. I will always here for you. I am just here waiting for you and wish to hold you and tell you that you don’t need to be strong all the time, you can be weak because i am here to hug you when you are weak. I will still love you no matter what. I love you.

She is going to college by the way. My baby girl is going to college and i am a ball of mess. I think now i know what the fuss is all about when their children goes to college.

My second daughter is a sweet little devil. Yes! People love her because she has charisma. But really people always fall for her angelic smile. She is the diva and model of my children. She loves to be photographed and she knows how to work it infront of the camera. She does look like a pro on how she moves in front of the camera.

There are times that i just tell her to smile but no she goes beyond what is requested. She give me side posts, she knows how to use her hands and really too advance for a child in terms of photography subject. She can do great poses than my adult clients. She just turned 5 last january 8 this year. And her teacher loves her because she always participates and as usual she always finish activities before the rest of the class.

There are times that i forget to give her a hug and talk to her. There are times that she get jealous with her little brother and it’s my fault i didn’t show her that much love. I forget most of the time that she is just a 5-year-old and still need her mamai though she may be independent. She is still a little child. But i love her and very proud of her. Out of all my children she is the one that i can always work with. She is my model most of the time.

My little boy is also a devil in an angel’s skin. Oh if cuteness can kill he might have killed you already. Too adorable to resist and he always throw a tantrums to get what he wants. He knows how to psychologically enslave you with his charms. And those two cute dimples in each side of his cheek could melt you but don’t be fooled by those.

Oh he is too intelligent for his own good. Like one time he wants to climb on top of a table i move the table to the side where there is no chair or anything that he could use to climb on top of it. But no he push the table towards the couch and climb on top of the couch and get to the top of the table. I was shock over his actions.

He also loves photography because he knows what is a camera looks like and even if it’s the camera of a phone he knows if we are taking photos. And usually he grabs the camera and take photographs himself.

I never really talk about my children. I don’t really talk about my family. I don’t even talk openly about my spouse. We don’t really post anything online though there are times that i just can’t help it but i do but as much as possible i make all our private moments private. I don’t need to validate my love for them, well there is no need to validate it.

Now i suddenly out of the blue i write a story about my children. But why now? What prompt me to do so? Like i said there are times that i just can’t help myself to do so. I just want to write things that what makes love each one of them. They are lovely children if they try to.

Away but not gone

It's been awhile that i have been silent. My thoughts are muted in a few years. I did write things but not my own thoughts but the voices of those fictional characters that whispers in my sleep. I have humour them and make them come alive while every words that came out like i breathe life into them. Bring them closer to reality— my reality.

My thoughts runs faster than light. Thousands of these words form from a word. And every word i hear brings conversation to those characters. It is like eavesdropping but not really. It's like watching a movie but not really seeing the moving images but just listening.

There are times that anxiety visits my thoughts, scrumbling those careful words that i have formed and string together. There are times that fear is prominent than clamness and the struggle to clam my inner storms is harder. There are times that the struggle is too hard that it leaves my body shaking and i feel the world is spinning.

With all the internal storms that came photography is the only anchor that keep me sane. It calms my soul, brings me hope and reminding me of the beautiful things i have seen.

It is the reminder that even in a storms there is beauty. Even in it's violent path there is grace. Photography reminds me of all the juxtaposition of everything around me. The contrass of black and white, the shapes and lines, order and chaos.

I write, then i don't and i write again. It's the dance that i find myself everyday. To give in or not to those words that my thoughts whispers. To run my fingers across the keyboard and let my soul take over.

In the mids of these battle there is that one clarity — my photographs. It is not a dance but a certainty. It is my voice— my real voice. Not just a thought but what i truly am.

Inner battle exist not only by a form of anxiety and panic but with every doubt that inhibits us to become who we truly are. It lives within us and it grows with us but it's up to us if we give in to it.

The more battles, the more i see clarity. In every storm there is grace and beauty.

new things

i just take things lightly now a days. this is like writing your diary all over again as we begin. i don't take stressful jobs and just sit and write things as a way to put my mind calm.

finally i have given up the things that are baggage and live life. i am still in the process of knowing myself all over again. may be this what others call soul searching, some may call it rediscovering oneself but i will just call it the open journey.

don't give a wrong idea but i am not facing a break up or a divorce (we don't have one in my country) its just different when you have kids, going to an adventure with a husband is one thing but have your little ones is a whole new animal.

we have things planed out on how we will be able to go explore the world with my children. we are not taking a car no this trip but rather a bike or a motorcyle one. i just hope that i can start things early so we can truly explore even in short distances.

wedding of the year

 Such a Fun day with everyone. This is by far the coolest wedding i have been. people are just so lay down and let the day go by.

it's with weddings like this one that makes me say to myself that i did the right thing. now i am ready to take the leap just like these guys and enjoy the ride. 

sinulog 2015 City of Naga

On every 3rd Sunday of January one of the most awaited events in Cebu dazzle the street. Sinulog is so popular not only in it's province but the whole country if not the whole world. It is one of the oldest mardigra in the country, and one of the largest street party in the country. 

Now everyone love  Sinulog that after few years different Municipalities and Cities around the provence of Cebu are adapting their own Sinulog celebration. What once a Sinulog that is only in Cebu City is now being dance too in diffrent parts of Cebu.

This is one of the Sinulog that is celebreted outside metro Cebu. Photos are taken from Sinulog 2015 at City of Naga, Cebu. Which is celebrated during the 4th Sunday of January. 

i'm back

you think i quit? guess again! i am back.

eating anitibiotics

due to unforeseen events i am now eating antibiotics for more than two weeks. i will be fine. the doctor said that i might get well soon. so as of the following months no pictures and no photography for me.

5th award

this photograph has been at veiwbug for more than two years. and it's the first time that they give an award for this. thank you viewbug.

naked in your eyes

are times when you think that life is boring then something hit you in the head. i never expected that i would be able to capture such image in one of the most unlikely places. one of the first thing that hits me is the juxtaposition of the whole picture. it's like placing pickles in an ice cream or wearing a two piece bikini in Antarctica. it's odd, it has something to convey and it's interesting.

i won another award

i didn't even know i won this award at viewbug but still i am thankful i have another one.

controlling the light: (in combo)

one of the first photos that i made for the strobist sesiers. i only use one speelight in this shot which is in slave mode to create the wonderful highlights for the subject. as of now i am experimenting on a one light set up.

finally controlling lights

it's really hard to control lights... nah not really. it sounds hard if you have no clue what is a light and how it works (in general). if you know the true nature of a light then you won't have a hard time controlling it. so the first thing that you should do is to understand what is a light, i think your physics teacher got it covered. remember folks photography is science too so you should know something like a little science to get around it. we can control light by bending, reflecting, bouncing and you can do cool stuff by refraction. well enough with the science thingy lets go to work... after years of somehow being a natural lights photographer, finally there is one critique that made me jump to artificial lights. it is true that sometimes as a photographer you have that point that you need additional light in order for you to get what you want. and this is where artificial lights comes in. and to be a master you need to combine ambient light with your speedlites to create or recreate a light (which is i am miles away). so i need a light that is handy and somehow helps me to control light. after months of looking into that matter i found exactly what i need. well created some of it.

i got the speedlite but i just don't have the perfect softbox. something that is light and very collapsible. when i gave up and i can't seem to find what i need i ask my boyfriend to make me one. the idea of the design came from me but the hands that made the models and the actual on is him.

i use a huge umbrella for this, a black and silver taffeta fabric, a white plastic, two small clamps, blots and nuts, two aluminum rivets, two L shape metal strips.

i cut the umbrella tube or pole and then took out the four out of eight of the top notch rib or rib to give me a square frame of the sofbox. sew the taffeta fabric together.

small clapms , blots and nuts, aluminum rivets and the metal strips are used as the mounts. i use a tripod here.

these are the sample shots taken using the diy collapsible softbox. in three-quarter view and profile view.

preparing for the better

right now i am doing all i can to make a bigger and better project this year. hope i can do something out of the ordinary. wish me luck guys...

hope that you will still spend sometime with my post.

sometimes i just wish i said no

one of the things that i love about photographing is the fact that i have a chance to be part of someone or somebody's most important time of their lives. but i never thought that i could be one of those who is silent in a corner and witness great sadness.

being an event photographer i never thought that i would photograph a funeral, something that is really, really something that i never have thought that i would do in my career but i did. i was there and it sucks because it's such a gloomy day thought the sun is up. most of the time the only thing that echos in the silent day is the sobs of those who were left behind.

and it is the first ever job i took that i did ask myself... do i do this again? can i do it again? i know that this is my second project (on a funeral) but really do i need to be in this type of situation again?

the whole project is too out of my character it is totally in contrast with my personality and i felt out of place. i photograph to be able to share happiness and joy, not bear witness to a sad day. bottom line is i hate sad things, its something that i don't really need in my life but everything in this funeral is worth photographing. do i like the photographs yes i do, but i am not happy with sad situations.

the wedding project

this wedding is part of a school project... everything here is not real but we all made it realistic for the viewers...

we all had fun with this shoot... the students are very cool about it. some were even very exited about the whole event. i am just happy that everybody participated well and made the whole event a success.

this wedding is the first ever solo wedding that i have ever shoot, considering that i am not really a wedding photographer. but this whole event open up to a whole new experience, i am very glad that i had a chance. i learn something that i don't really learn in my usual photography... i just thought that in wedding photography there is a whole new discipline. you need to work with people... literally work with them. combination of ideas is the key. you need to combine your own idea with others to have a spectacular shoot. and the best part is that i have fun with every second of it.